The Day my son taught me that I am still learning.
Every Day, I Try to Be Present
As a father, I TRY to give my kids at least one hour of undivided attention every day. No phone. No distractions. Just them and me.
This day was no different.
My youngest and I decided to play Mario Brothers Deluxe on his Nintendo Switch. He’s not very good, but we laughed, we trash-talked each other, and time flew.
When the hour was up, I gave him 15 more minutes, because the fun was too good to cut short. Then I headed into my home office to knock out a work project that was due the next day.
He understood. We’ve done this before.
“You Be Mario, I’ll Be Luigi”
A few minutes later, I overheard him in the game room trying to recruit his big brother.
“You be Mario, I’ll be Luigi,” he said again and again.
But big brother was locked into Fortnite and wasn’t interested.
Naturally, the little guy made his way back to my office.
“Daddy, can you play with me?”
I explained, gently at first, that I couldn’t. That I was working. He nodded but kept asking. Over and over.
“Daddy pleeeeease, I neeed someone to play with me…”
His tone got whinier. I was deep into my project, we all know how we get as the deadline closes in, but his requests were incessant…
I had stumbled on a breakthrough in the project, and one of his whines made me lose the thought, and then…
SNAP.
I Yelled at My Son
“I told you I’m busy!”
The words came out sharp. Too sharp. I’ll never forget the look on his face.
He was stunned. Quiet. Confused. Hurt.
And just then…like a sign from the universe..
A notification popped up on my screen from our DadsGotIt store.
It prominently featured our logo, big, bold and clear, the tagline SCREAMED OUT AT ME:
“Be there. Be present. Be dad.”
I felt like a fraud. I am the one who is supposed to be teaching him to be patient, instead he taught me that I am still learning.
I Closed the Laptop
I was working on something for a company that would replace me tomorrow in a heartbeat. A company that, if I died, would find my replacement in days, and IF they sent a card to my family, they’d probably spell my name wrong. This is the company that I yelled at my son for. My son. My son who was simply asking me for time, simply asking if I could be the person to play with him. Simply asking me to be present.
It hit me in that moment that, unlike my company, if I died, he wouldn’t be able to replace me in days.
I shut the laptop.
I pulled him in close and said, “I’m sorry.”
We played Mario for another 30 minutes until mom came back from the gym.
Then he ran off to her, happy again. He moved on. I couldn’t.
I Love My Kid, and I Yelled at Him for Wanting my Time.
That’s hard to type. But it’s true.
I have work to do, in every sense of the word. And I will be better.
If you’re a dad, I don’t know what your days look like,
But maybe this is your reminder too:
We must be intentional about trying to
Be there. Be present. and Be dad.
Those are the things they will remember… and as for my memories, I don’t ever want another memory of his face like that.
Ever had a moment like this? Drop it in the comments or share with a dad who needs to hear it. Also check out what we are about.
